Okay seems like I am throwing this word out of the blue. However let me tell you a story, as a small child (around 7/8) I was fascinated by adoption and fostering although I didnt know there was a difference at that age.   I watched many films around the subject and asked question after question, being very curious on the matter.

I was actually never sure that I would have my own,  I was so aware of the amount of children that needed a home that I was never sure I wanted to bring one in to the world and more about helping the ones already here.

I began respite fostering when I was 22 …. the process was long but I went throught this and it was very informative and very well done and I got a baby boy of 14 months old when I was around 24.  The process isnt so much long as massive breaks in between . (just incase someone is put off by that sentence)

When we did decide to have our own it was the best time of my entire life and she is my utter world.  She is more than I ever knew , I love more than I have ever loved anything in my life and with her my want for adoption and to help another child grew also

Respite fostering (to jump back a little )  is where you work with the family . Get involved with things and have the children or child one weekend a month (or whatever you can do ) it worked well for me , the family and the child.  It was amazing. The best thing I have ever done (besides my own baby girl ) .  Usually respite fostering moves on when things are good and after a few months/years ( a bit like mary poppins) however I kept fostering with the same little boy for 10 years.  10 years you guys!  He was basically my baby boy too 🙂 .  I got on with the family very very well and fostered the brother too.  Initally separately and then together as they grew.  They became family very very quickly .

This has just ended within the year and with fostering for so long with the same family  it was so routine and just home from home for them and for us too.  With this naturally ending we are at a bit of a cross road . DO we take on someone new?  will that be scary again ?  we have April to think about now  or WILL WE LOOK AT ADOPTION?!

The last one is my dream and at the same time I am scared.  I think its good to be scared . I think that shows seriousness of the thought.  It cant be a whim . It has to work . For the child, for us , for April.  Its a forever decision. This cant be made instantly and it has been something I have thought about for a long long time. I need to make sure the realisim is in that thought too .

  1. Will I love them the same ?
  2. Will they fit in ?
  3. Will we give them the best life?
  4. Will it work ?
  5. Will they feel the same as April?
  6. Will we miss just having April?
  7. Will I manage with two (I know you mommas out there have lots more but I am being honest so please dont judge)?
  8. Will I cope ?
  9. Will me and gary manage?
  10. Will we afford it ?
  11. Will the kids fight ?
  12. Will it be hard

Its probably no different than when we thought about having our own and perhaps if I wanted a second I would go through these questions again . Then I think of the big picture. Sunday morning, us all in bed together , two little girls laughing and becoming best friends …..Oh no I have some tears now…… see it is important to me and if anyone is still with me then please let me know what you think.

It will not be tomorrow and will not be this year however do I start the journey or do I stick with my amazing trio ?

xxxx   thanks for your ears …… it means a lot .xx