From the moment you meet someone its “when you getting a ring on that finger?” , “When is the wedding ?” , “Do you guys want kids ?” and then the “When you having another?”
Its usually from someone who has done all the above and living their, now routine, life through you . Maybe I am being harsh but from someone that has heard these comments A LOT I feel strongly about leaving people to do things their way and in their own time.
It’s not a race and there is no rule book
SO here I am having met someone , got the ring , got married and had the baby . So I am around about the last question. “When is the second baby coming?” . Well its not. One child fits us and our life nicely . Is this selfish .
I am in this life with my amazing family once and our life isn’t straight forward 9 -5 . Gary , my husband, works very hard at running a few businesses. These businesses keep him out the house every night during the week and most of the weekend he is out during the day . Having one baby is easy for me to cope with, its one on one lol, although some days can be hard, like any parent, as most of the time it is just me. If we had two this would change our life dramatically. I couldn’t take April to as many places with a baby and get the same results. I would be more tired dealing with two children almost every night on my own , not forgetting my work as we cannot afford for me to not work and that would add pressure on to our relationship and the small time we get together as a couple. This would impact April and her life too. Yes I would have another member of the family which I am sure I would love unconditionally , in fact I know I would but I am being sensible and real and thinking of my family as it is now. The bond I have with them.
I shouldn’t have to explain this to others , I have thought about this for us and our life together not the world. Not nosy people who just reply with “An Only child is a lonely child” . I think that is so unfair . who is to say that the pressure of 2 children , 3 jobs , a house and not enough hours would end in divorce and a broken family . Surely this would be worse. Why would they be lonely ? I have only one child to pay for and therefore she will have lot of clubs to go to and play dates that I can arrange as very easy with one.
A dear friend of mine has one gorgeous little boy at the same age as April, however she has had to give birth to two sleeping babies (one is hard enough but two I could not imagine) and still gets the same comment of “When you having more?” with people/stranger that do not know her situation and although this is not intended to hurt, is it really necessary to say? . Maybe we should all let people lead their own life and decide what works for them .
Much love xx