Oh baby girl
Tomorrow morning at 8:15am we are off to get you the meningitis B Jab. Its costing mummy and daddy a lot of pennies, as the health system wont give to all children, but your life is priceless so we are trying to do the best we can to keep you safe.
You are not the best fan of jabs since your age 3 jabs at the doctors but we have been practicing lots and lots and mummy has changed the name of it to superpower scratch jab . The superpower is to fight a horrible disease in this world and the scratch part is the feeling the jab gives you. This seems to have helped a lot and with the added large toy you seem good to go. You tell me that you will be able to punch the disease with your superpowers lol.
When thinking of having a baby no one prepares you for the emotions of trying to do your best. I try to think of the best ways to keep you safe and also not to believe everything which is told in the world. The health industry is at the same time a business and I try and keep this in mind when considering best options for you. Meningitis however is a horrible horrible monster that I don’t want to have to deal with . We had a big scare when you were a 4 month old baby and I don’t want that again. This jab will protect you all through your life and although many strains of meningitis I am doing what I can , with what is available to keep you safe.
Be brave tomorrow my little one we will be there with you , as always , It might be sore but if the horrible monster got you it would be worse. 2 mins of the superpower scratch jab and it will be all over and the magic fairy will be right there to heal it .
Mummy and Daddy
From the moment you meet someone its “when you getting a ring on that finger?” , “When is the wedding ?” , “Do you guys want kids ?” and then the “When you having another?”
Its usually from someone who has done all the above and living their, now routine, life through you . Maybe I am being harsh but from someone that has heard these comments A LOT I feel strongly about leaving people to do things their way and in their own time.
It’s not a race and there is no rule book
SO here I am having met someone , got the ring , got married and had the baby . So I am around about the last question. “When is the second baby coming?” . Well its not. One child fits us and our life nicely . Is this selfish .
I am in this life with my amazing family once and our life isn’t straight forward 9 -5 . Gary , my husband, works very hard at running a few businesses. These businesses keep him out the house every night during the week and most of the weekend he is out during the day . Having one baby is easy for me to cope with, its one on one lol, although some days can be hard, like any parent, as most of the time it is just me. If we had two this would change our life dramatically. I couldn’t take April to as many places with a baby and get the same results. I would be more tired dealing with two children almost every night on my own , not forgetting my work as we cannot afford for me to not work and that would add pressure on to our relationship and the small time we get together as a couple. This would impact April and her life too. Yes I would have another member of the family which I am sure I would love unconditionally , in fact I know I would but I am being sensible and real and thinking of my family as it is now. The bond I have with them.
I shouldn’t have to explain this to others , I have thought about this for us and our life together not the world. Not nosy people who just reply with “An Only child is a lonely child” . I think that is so unfair . who is to say that the pressure of 2 children , 3 jobs , a house and not enough hours would end in divorce and a broken family . Surely this would be worse. Why would they be lonely ? I have only one child to pay for and therefore she will have lot of clubs to go to and play dates that I can arrange as very easy with one.
A dear friend of mine has one gorgeous little boy at the same age as April, however she has had to give birth to two sleeping babies (one is hard enough but two I could not imagine) and still gets the same comment of “When you having more?” with people/stranger that do not know her situation and although this is not intended to hurt, is it really necessary to say? . Maybe we should all let people lead their own life and decide what works for them .
Much love xx
Well last day of nursery and it all went wrong .
Ever have a picture in your head about how things will go? . I do and it never goes the way I hoped. Gary , my husband, says I am idealistic. I like to think I am positive with a bit of magic lol. It started with a tantrum because ……. she woke up . Thats my conclusion anyway as not one thing happened before that and my eyes hadnt even opened yet.
she then wouldnt get dressed with out a lot of “get dressed now before we are late” shouted at her . I was tired before even getting to nursery .
She went in fine but complained about the hat I made as it didnt fit and she didnt like it and she didnt want to wear it . SIGHHHHH
The parents were to go back at 10:30 for a little tea party and when I went in she come running up all smiles . I gave her a bit hug and she then said I WANT CHOCOLATE ( the chocolate we made) but I didnt know where anything was as its not MY nursery ha ha . That resulted in tears and the teachers asking “whats wrong April” it ends up the chocolates were out in the kid room and she was free to get them but ‘couldnt’ with out me . So there I am feeling very uncomfortable wandering around the nursery with the shy crying child (let it be known she is not shy any other time at nursery or at home) She then ‘demands ‘ crisps which I said no and was starting to get annoyed with the spoilt child in the room, and annoyed it was my child .
She didnt take part in the first half of the games they did and instead just cried. I now wished I hadnt bothered.
Second half she did take part and I felt like a breakthrough . The end came and we left with april crying bcause she couldnt find the hat she made. You know the one she hated and wouldnt wear.
I wanted to start a tradition that at the end of every school year she got a balloon but now I was stuck between the tradition not getting started and spoiling an already spoilt child . We picked up daddy and I ranted to him about my day and then got to the balloon shop for a successful balloon purchase.
Its now half 7 and April is in bed, the balloon is burst and in the bin (child stamped on it) and mummy is opening some wine. Dont judge . Tomorrow is a new day . Thankfully
Here are some of the better pictures….hiding the bad parts of the day (pictures are good at that )
APril has only been at nursery for 6 months and although she goes back next year for preschool nursery I still wanted to give the nursery staff a thank you gift.
If I am honest I love doing these things. I love giving . So any excuse to do these is fine with me . They like it, I like it ….. its win win really .
So I didnt quite know what to make and I didnt want to spend tons getting each of them something (there is a few staff) so I looked on pinterest and found the sweet bag toppers. So cute. Pinterest also points you to free ones that you can print in the house and ETSY has many many that you can buy .
I found one for free that says Thank you for being sweet. I then decided this would be ideal to give to the teachers and just add sweets.
At the pound store I bought bags of sweets and got coloured zippy bags . They even had a basket there too . Max spend was £7 . Sorted . A little bit of magic ( put all together ) and TA DA ….. we have a cute basket of thank you sweet bags .
Hope the staff loved them . xx
I cannot believe tomorrow is your last day at nursery for the summer. It has been great seeing you change when at nursery and also weird knowing you have a little life outside mummy and daddys world, and its just yours. However its all part of growing up and I am so very proud of you and the way you have excepted the challenge.
You only started January due to your age, but the six months have seen you grow with confidence and courage. You go with such confidence and you have made friends of your very own.
Its all new to me and your dad and we are trying to go with the flow with what happens and whats expected and try to show an interest and be part of each step when we can (allowed lol , the control freak momma has to have a step back )
Our first summer break and we will have lots of fun adventures I promise ( we couldnt stay in with your energy ) The entire week I have thought about you leaving for holiday and had to keep reminding myself that you are the one off for 6 weeks not mommy lol. I wish it was me.
This week I have managed to be on top form with organising . I have done sweets for the teachers , wrote a letter to your little friends mum about meeting up over the holidays (sadly she hasnt text me but at least I can say I tried) and sorted your Mad Hatter hat for your party tomorrow
Today I rushed home (after a very long day ) and we made chocolate shapes for you party tomorrow too . It wasnt too easy with you as my assistant this time around and there wasnt much concentration being had with the mad singing you were doing lol but we did it in the end .
I have your blackboard ready for tomorrow and I am loving that I can be part of your life and make the events as special as I can .
Wishing you the best last day my gorgeous girl and a fun summer break with mama and dada .
Love you to the moon and back . xx
I dont know if you guys out in cyber space get this but I just feel like a bit of a failure. My twenties were full of hope that I could still be something or someone. Do something that would make a difference. My thirties proved how wrong I was. I used to have so much motivation , or at least I think I did .
I had April, my gorgeous girl, at 31 and she changed my view of things , for the better. I wanted to stay home and spend every minute with her. I told my self that something will turn up. A door will open for me . Nothing did.
I had a plan , thought it out and it all fell apart. I decided it was fine and that I wasnt meant to be and something much better was just round the corner. There is no corner its a straight road.
After the maternity leave I surrendered to the fact I was going back . Back to work but it was ok I would be part time now and it would be different than the place I left . It was different . IT was worse.
I am of course lucky lucky lucky to have a job in todays world and I understand that but thats not what this post is really about . Its about how unfufilled I am in the career path I have found myself on. The job I have done hasnt changed in the 15 years I have done it. With every business and company scrambling for money there is no ladder and no development and therefore no change. In fact there is very very very little work and some days I sit at a desk for 9 hours and dont have a thing to do (most days if I am honest). Days my baby is sick and I have no holidays and feel trapped there like a prison while my hard working , over worked , husband has to take the time off to be with her (he is self employed no one he has to ask for time off ) . I HATE IT and its my crappy party and I will cry if I want to .
I understand I have so so much . I get that and again if you read other posts you will know what I put as first and its not money . However I decided that I would write a blog but I was just lost. Changed it and took on another blog , lost again . I opened an online shop and worked my butt off sewing and trying to make money from sales but fabric is expensive and people like things for nothing , plus there is only me and I have to sit in an office for 9 hours so that takes some time away from it .
I guess I am just having a rant as here I am again with this blog and my instagram and its sucks … I have 289 posts on instagram and 53 followers . Sigh.
I get up every morning and think of great things I want to post about and crafts I want to do then the challenges of the day arrives and Im knackered (sometimes from boredom ) and I have no energy to do any of it.
Maybe I am just too late in the blogging world x
April is three but its a digital world for her since her birth . She has seen us use our phones for just about everything and soon we seen her copy the ‘swiping’ action before she could even stand on her own. The ipad was amazing for her as a baby as you have a lot of educational apps and videos on it and from a young age she would watch things to help with her eye coordination and hearing to name a few. It was a natural part of her world …..Sometimes I think that is sad and others I think its a very good thing IF USED CORRECTLY .
April found the youtube app on her own and managed (I dont know how) to discover the surprise opening videos herself . She gets limited time on the IPAD for watching things like this before moving on to an educational app that we do together (if she lets me) but nonetheless she likes youtube .
So I decided one day we would create our own youtube video that way she would have fun watching herself. I am quite a shy person and easy to hide behind the computer screen and this blog but I thought it would be fun ….. April took a little bit to get into it but then she was all pro at the end ….Have a watch.
Well I am a bit of a control freak but I dont say that negatively as I like it. I am okay with it and I like being ahead of the game and feeling organised. It works well for me .
The other part knows that unless I am organised I could not afford Christmas at the last minute so I need to be organised.
With both of the above I am currently Christmas shopping for the little one and have got the rest of the friends and family sorted mainly.
OK OK I realise you might just hate me right now and I come across as all smug but it honestly isnt like this . I grew up always having to hear about money as my parents didnt have a lot. They worked hard and we got what they could afford. Some times were much harder than others but as a child I knew money was short and important.
I left home early around my 20s and I bought my first house myself and managed my own money. When it came to Christmas I was so blessed with lots of friends that my bank balance felt it and I would spend the next year having to get on top of finances again. I realised that just didnt work for me and I started early in the second half of the year collecting bargains as I went . My friends started having Children before I did and before I knew it I was back to square one with having childrens gifts added on. I was independant so there was no saying I couldnt afford it. I love giving gifts and try so hard to give good gifts too .
Fast Forward a few years more and I started collecting some of the great bargains in the january sales and the sales throughout the whole year. I found a big cupboard space and packed them all in . I then sorted out at christmas what I had and who it would suit. More years later and along came April and her very own Santa list .
I now start on january and buy throughout the year. It is now not about if I see if but I look out for the sales and think about the present cupboard first(its now a sealed large box in the shed lol ) I get amazing bargains, which means people get some great gifts that some times I wouldnt be able to afford all at once when December hit. I look for really good kids gifts for April too and put them away .
With Aprils gifts I dont always buy new. I have done this with some of the things and I am guaranteed its the new stuff she isnt interested in and its my ebay second hand toys that she does. Plus if there is something I buy second hand and she is not interested in it then I dont feel as bad as if I had bought new.
I love bargaining on ebay to see what is available (always go for best quality of course ) and the cost. It can be a game.
Here are my tips for being better prepared for Christmas (and birthdays too )
- Find a place that you can keep presents, this could be a drawer, box, under bed , cupboard ….. its ok to start small .
- Look at all the bargain parts of the stores . Sales, whoops products
, supermarket (they always have discounted stuff ) and buy if they seem a good bargain and a gift you have someone in mind for. Some things are a good bargain you put it away and sort out the recipient later
- Look on ebay and gumtree for your own children , some awesome stuff and great prices. Books , toys, electronics. Lots of bargains can be had. Also good for ideas.
- Look for when certain sales are on . CLothes shop sales, supermarket sales , jewellery shop sales and toys . You might not always buy from them and sometimes I wait until the last day of the sale to see what is reduced further.
- Always make a list at Christmas time to see who gets what and makes the planning better.
Lastly have fun. I enjoy this and its my way but not always someone elses . I then have December free to enjoy all the festivity .