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Coincidence ? God?

In a very weird way, a  Joel Osteen you tube video turned up in my life today.  I have to wonder when things like this happen.  Is it a coincidence?  Is there such a thing?  If its all meant to be then it’s a sign……right ?

I am a believer in a higher being, higher spirit, higher love.  I always believed in God and Jesus as a child but we were not a church going family and were not a reading family so the bible was definitely not something we read or had.  My mum and dad were not opposed to God but more opposed to religion.  Limiting and rules I think.  My mum always said that if god was all loving and if god made us then he wouldn’t make us born with sin.  No parent would.  She also told me that you don’t need to go to church to pray or talk with god as not everyone can walk and not everyone can talk.  C you can do it anywhere.  I clearly must have asked a lot about god and why we didn’t go to church for these to be her answers.  She at least left me to make my own decisions but we were never overly encouraged forward and thats probably because their parents didn’t either.

However we are in a ‘healing’ part of our life and Joel Osteen seems to have popped into my life with some amazing motivational videos.  It was as if the video that I got shown was exactly what I needed.  a message from above?  A sign ?  I would like to think so

Me and my husband listened to his videos all afternoon.  The uplift we felt was incredible.  My husband before our life changing event was not religious or overly believing but strange what life will do to you.  We have been forced to change our life and in small ways, slowly, god has entered?  I dont know if I am holding hope but I am ready to embrace this new part of it.  I like to think that there is someone , up there, looking out for me.

Lorraine

When the world gives you lemons

Not sure how to start this blog.  2016 did not end the way it was meant to.   The cause….People, evil people.  I have always been a sensitive person and a person who wears my heart on my sleeve.  I hurt easily and love easily.  Found it to be a tough end to the year when people decide to lie, lie to seek revenge for something that didn’t need revenge.  Hate is a horrible thing and the actions people take to do things to  people they dislike.   Well I hope they reap what they sow.  Karma will seek revenge I hope.  They ( the wise people we never know lol) say that what you put out in the world you get back.  At times I have to admit I think thats why evil turned up at our door but in return it should turn up at theirs.  I don’t wish bad on anyone but I do hope Karma is involved.

Any way enough of that.  We are into 2017 .  Broken, hurt, sad and a little bit more wary but we are here, we are a family and thats all we can ask.

I write this blog for me, no-one else.  I loved doing diaries when I was little and I every time I have started a blog I end up stopping and always so difficult to close it with all my posts on and my pictures on so I will continue this and keep my cute memories.

2017 is definitely a NEW NEW NEW start for me.  I have never had a new start like it .  I don’t know where I am going or what I am going to do but maybe writing some of it down and the changes I get will be an amazing journey to record.

I believe very much in the Law of Attraction and lets see if it can make its difference for me this year.

 

My Health anxiety (the intro)

This is a tough subject for me but I thought I would introduce it here as this blog is about me and my life and I want it to be included.  Its part of me and who I am.  I didn’t want it, I didn’t ask for it but its been around me for a long time and its part of who I am.   Its Health anxiety

If you google definition of health anxiety you get this

Health anxiety is an anxiety disorder that is often housed within the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) spectrum of disorders. Those affected by health anxiety have an obsessional preoccupation with the idea or the thought that they are currently (or will be) experiencing a physical illness.
This is in a nutshell but lets be honest with every illness it doesn’t always work as “one size fits all”  .
For me I wouldn’t say I am OCD but I can understand this if your health anxiety was very extreme and thoughts of keeping clean.  Mine, thankfully,  isn’t as bad as it could be.  However this doesn’t mean it’s not there and that it’s easy.
I have always suffered with being scared of death and how I will die.  Whenever I get a pain or ill I think the worst.  A sore head is a brain tumour, A sore leg is a blood clot, a pain in my chest is a heart attack.  You get the picture. Thing with health anxiety there is no alternative to what the pain or illness could be, It can’t just be a headache.  This maybe sound strange to someone that doesn’t have it. In fact on days when all is fine I think the same.
Things in my past haven’t helped this, in fact it probably fuelled the anxiety fire.  My mum has always been ill and its been with very serious things. When I was in my early 20s I lost two dear friends for very rare reasons and lastly there is a lot of people in our life and families and I think I have been to a funeral every year since I was a child of 12.  Even writing this makes me see what has caused and created the anxiety I have today.
I have got to the stage that I realise triggers and times that I am at my worse and I can identify that its JUST anxiety and try and fight the images and stories my mind makes up .  However it is not always easy .
I am not going to say much more for now as I feel you guys may fall asleep with the amount I could say . However just know if you have health anxiety then you are not alone.
I am going to talk about health anxiety on here at times, how I cope with things, how I coped in labour and pregnancy and how I cope as a mum.  I have not got it as bad as some but it is my story. We all worry about health at some points so hopefully my stories will help someone out there .
Much love from me to you xx

 

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