From the moment you meet someone its “when you getting a ring on that finger?” , “When is the wedding ?” , “Do you guys want kids ?” and then the “When you having another?”
Its usually from someone who has done all the above and living their, now routine, life through you . Maybe I am being harsh but from someone that has heard these comments A LOT I feel strongly about leaving people to do things their way and in their own time.
It’s not a race and there is no rule book
SO here I am having met someone , got the ring , got married and had the baby . So I am around about the last question. “When is the second baby coming?” . Well its not. One child fits us and our life nicely . Is this selfish .
I am in this life with my amazing family once and our life isn’t straight forward 9 -5 . Gary , my husband, works very hard at running a few businesses. These businesses keep him out the house every night during the week and most of the weekend he is out during the day . Having one baby is easy for me to cope with, its one on one lol, although some days can be hard, like any parent, as most of the time it is just me. If we had two this would change our life dramatically. I couldn’t take April to as many places with a baby and get the same results. I would be more tired dealing with two children almost every night on my own , not forgetting my work as we cannot afford for me to not work and that would add pressure on to our relationship and the small time we get together as a couple. This would impact April and her life too. Yes I would have another member of the family which I am sure I would love unconditionally , in fact I know I would but I am being sensible and real and thinking of my family as it is now. The bond I have with them.
I shouldn’t have to explain this to others , I have thought about this for us and our life together not the world. Not nosy people who just reply with “An Only child is a lonely child” . I think that is so unfair . who is to say that the pressure of 2 children , 3 jobs , a house and not enough hours would end in divorce and a broken family . Surely this would be worse. Why would they be lonely ? I have only one child to pay for and therefore she will have lot of clubs to go to and play dates that I can arrange as very easy with one.
A dear friend of mine has one gorgeous little boy at the same age as April, however she has had to give birth to two sleeping babies (one is hard enough but two I could not imagine) and still gets the same comment of “When you having more?” with people/stranger that do not know her situation and although this is not intended to hurt, is it really necessary to say? . Maybe we should all let people lead their own life and decide what works for them .
Much love xx
We have got to the stage of “I want I want I want” aghhhh . I have to say its my fault . When she was little she never asked for anything and I would love to get April things and see her face light up with new things and play all day with it. As she got older she would start to pick things herself and get all excited about it . She would pick up a teddy and hug it in the shop and next minute I was at the till buying it . I know I created a rod for my own back .
The shops nowadays are so cheap , every second shop is a charity or a 99p shop so the things she would get were never expensive .( I dont have that much money ha ha ). Supermarkets always have a cheap toy section and there are always items on sale so she got there too when we went for a food shop . Sometimes a chocolate surprise egg , other times a toy bargain or book . However what I didnt realise was happening was the she was learning that she got something EVERY time we went out (or just about ).
Feels so silly and obvious when writing it down that it was wrong but when you are in the 99p shop and they grab a little doll I didnt bother after all it was 99p .
However it has changed this weekend when after buying her a balloon to celebrate finishing school for the summer she decided ,when home, she had enough of that balloon and DEMANDED (can you believe that ) a new balloon. I was shocked at the way she wanted a new balloon and that she thought it was just as simple as going and getting a new one . When she was told no she burst the balloon (sneakily ) and said oh no that one broke we better go and get a new one . Determined little monkey eh . Well I decided enough was enough and the thinking around all this had to change.
I didnt get things like this when I was little as the shops and prices were not the same . I grew up knowing money was scarce and we didnt have much and the pressure it had on my parents . Although I didnt want her dealing with money and worries like that I did need her to know that you have to have money to buy things .
SO I have bought these lovely coins off ebay . They have numbers on them for being used as screen time however we are just going to use them as ‘coins’ . . We found a cute jar in the supermarket for £2 and we have a new system.
April behaves and helps out she will get coins , if she doesnt she will not get any coins and if she is very naughty she will get coins taken away . The coins dont represent any value in our house but that may change as she gets older , she is only 3. When she wants something she will use her coins for it , this way allows us to decide if she can get the item or not as no value to the coins and if its too expensive we will just say not enough coins etc etc. then all the coins are used on any purchase and she has to start again . If I really want to get her something I can say I had a coin from working that I shared with her .
Like this little monkey could ever be naughty lol
I think this is the best approach for our house to teach her simply . ‘You need money to get stuff its not free ‘ lol
What do you think xx
Well last day of nursery and it all went wrong .
Ever have a picture in your head about how things will go? . I do and it never goes the way I hoped. Gary , my husband, says I am idealistic. I like to think I am positive with a bit of magic lol. It started with a tantrum because ……. she woke up . Thats my conclusion anyway as not one thing happened before that and my eyes hadnt even opened yet.
she then wouldnt get dressed with out a lot of “get dressed now before we are late” shouted at her . I was tired before even getting to nursery .
She went in fine but complained about the hat I made as it didnt fit and she didnt like it and she didnt want to wear it . SIGHHHHH
The parents were to go back at 10:30 for a little tea party and when I went in she come running up all smiles . I gave her a bit hug and she then said I WANT CHOCOLATE ( the chocolate we made) but I didnt know where anything was as its not MY nursery ha ha . That resulted in tears and the teachers asking “whats wrong April” it ends up the chocolates were out in the kid room and she was free to get them but ‘couldnt’ with out me . So there I am feeling very uncomfortable wandering around the nursery with the shy crying child (let it be known she is not shy any other time at nursery or at home) She then ‘demands ‘ crisps which I said no and was starting to get annoyed with the spoilt child in the room, and annoyed it was my child .
She didnt take part in the first half of the games they did and instead just cried. I now wished I hadnt bothered.
Second half she did take part and I felt like a breakthrough . The end came and we left with april crying bcause she couldnt find the hat she made. You know the one she hated and wouldnt wear.
I wanted to start a tradition that at the end of every school year she got a balloon but now I was stuck between the tradition not getting started and spoiling an already spoilt child . We picked up daddy and I ranted to him about my day and then got to the balloon shop for a successful balloon purchase.
Its now half 7 and April is in bed, the balloon is burst and in the bin (child stamped on it) and mummy is opening some wine. Dont judge . Tomorrow is a new day . Thankfully
Here are some of the better pictures….hiding the bad parts of the day (pictures are good at that )
I cannot believe tomorrow is your last day at nursery for the summer. It has been great seeing you change when at nursery and also weird knowing you have a little life outside mummy and daddys world, and its just yours. However its all part of growing up and I am so very proud of you and the way you have excepted the challenge.
You only started January due to your age, but the six months have seen you grow with confidence and courage. You go with such confidence and you have made friends of your very own.
Its all new to me and your dad and we are trying to go with the flow with what happens and whats expected and try to show an interest and be part of each step when we can (allowed lol , the control freak momma has to have a step back )
Our first summer break and we will have lots of fun adventures I promise ( we couldnt stay in with your energy ) The entire week I have thought about you leaving for holiday and had to keep reminding myself that you are the one off for 6 weeks not mommy lol. I wish it was me.
This week I have managed to be on top form with organising . I have done sweets for the teachers , wrote a letter to your little friends mum about meeting up over the holidays (sadly she hasnt text me but at least I can say I tried) and sorted your Mad Hatter hat for your party tomorrow
Today I rushed home (after a very long day ) and we made chocolate shapes for you party tomorrow too . It wasnt too easy with you as my assistant this time around and there wasnt much concentration being had with the mad singing you were doing lol but we did it in the end .
I have your blackboard ready for tomorrow and I am loving that I can be part of your life and make the events as special as I can .
Wishing you the best last day my gorgeous girl and a fun summer break with mama and dada .
Love you to the moon and back . xx
April is three but its a digital world for her since her birth . She has seen us use our phones for just about everything and soon we seen her copy the ‘swiping’ action before she could even stand on her own. The ipad was amazing for her as a baby as you have a lot of educational apps and videos on it and from a young age she would watch things to help with her eye coordination and hearing to name a few. It was a natural part of her world …..Sometimes I think that is sad and others I think its a very good thing IF USED CORRECTLY .
April found the youtube app on her own and managed (I dont know how) to discover the surprise opening videos herself . She gets limited time on the IPAD for watching things like this before moving on to an educational app that we do together (if she lets me) but nonetheless she likes youtube .
So I decided one day we would create our own youtube video that way she would have fun watching herself. I am quite a shy person and easy to hide behind the computer screen and this blog but I thought it would be fun ….. April took a little bit to get into it but then she was all pro at the end ….Have a watch.
Well I am a bit of a control freak but I dont say that negatively as I like it. I am okay with it and I like being ahead of the game and feeling organised. It works well for me .
The other part knows that unless I am organised I could not afford Christmas at the last minute so I need to be organised.
With both of the above I am currently Christmas shopping for the little one and have got the rest of the friends and family sorted mainly.
OK OK I realise you might just hate me right now and I come across as all smug but it honestly isnt like this . I grew up always having to hear about money as my parents didnt have a lot. They worked hard and we got what they could afford. Some times were much harder than others but as a child I knew money was short and important.
I left home early around my 20s and I bought my first house myself and managed my own money. When it came to Christmas I was so blessed with lots of friends that my bank balance felt it and I would spend the next year having to get on top of finances again. I realised that just didnt work for me and I started early in the second half of the year collecting bargains as I went . My friends started having Children before I did and before I knew it I was back to square one with having childrens gifts added on. I was independant so there was no saying I couldnt afford it. I love giving gifts and try so hard to give good gifts too .
Fast Forward a few years more and I started collecting some of the great bargains in the january sales and the sales throughout the whole year. I found a big cupboard space and packed them all in . I then sorted out at christmas what I had and who it would suit. More years later and along came April and her very own Santa list .
I now start on january and buy throughout the year. It is now not about if I see if but I look out for the sales and think about the present cupboard first(its now a sealed large box in the shed lol ) I get amazing bargains, which means people get some great gifts that some times I wouldnt be able to afford all at once when December hit. I look for really good kids gifts for April too and put them away .
With Aprils gifts I dont always buy new. I have done this with some of the things and I am guaranteed its the new stuff she isnt interested in and its my ebay second hand toys that she does. Plus if there is something I buy second hand and she is not interested in it then I dont feel as bad as if I had bought new.
I love bargaining on ebay to see what is available (always go for best quality of course ) and the cost. It can be a game.
Here are my tips for being better prepared for Christmas (and birthdays too )
- Find a place that you can keep presents, this could be a drawer, box, under bed , cupboard ….. its ok to start small .
- Look at all the bargain parts of the stores . Sales, whoops products
, supermarket (they always have discounted stuff ) and buy if they seem a good bargain and a gift you have someone in mind for. Some things are a good bargain you put it away and sort out the recipient later
- Look on ebay and gumtree for your own children , some awesome stuff and great prices. Books , toys, electronics. Lots of bargains can be had. Also good for ideas.
- Look for when certain sales are on . CLothes shop sales, supermarket sales , jewellery shop sales and toys . You might not always buy from them and sometimes I wait until the last day of the sale to see what is reduced further.
- Always make a list at Christmas time to see who gets what and makes the planning better.
Lastly have fun. I enjoy this and its my way but not always someone elses . I then have December free to enjoy all the festivity .
We are heading to DisneyLand in Paris. Woohoo. I cannot wait. April is just three and although not sure of all that it is about she knows she gets to meet all the princesses and give them a cuddle.
I like lists and I like a bit of control. I like to think I have everything I need when I go or at least feel I have thought of most things. Think all mums are the same so I thought I would give a quick look at my list of things to take. This is tailored to our Disney holiday but it still gives some ideas of things you might forget on your list
My Disney visit toddler list
- Pull ups/bed pants – April is out of nappies but thought she may be extra tired and didn’t need any issues with an accident so this was easy
- Wet wipes – For a million reasons lol
- Favourite teddy – Something to remind them of home and security , especially if first trip away .
- Musical light – April uses a musical toy at bedtime so we took that with her so her routine, even if later , was similar
- Dress up clothes – believe me cheaper than Disney
- Sweets / chocolate – Disney is expensive and food can be different so take things you know your kids like and will eat for snacks . Definitely helped
- Empty juice container – easy to pour juice and water into and no spills
- Zippy bags – helps put sweets into or unfinished food for later. You know toddlers
- Nappy cream – I find April can get rashes quick so this is something to have handy
- Calpol/Medicine – obvious reasons. don’t want to be stuck with out
- Thermometer – I like to know what I am dealing with if ill
- Clothes – I am sure you know what clothes to pack lol
- Separate tights and socks (cold and hot) – I took both tights and socks. That way could easily make an outfit for sunshine or wet weather
- 2 full days of extra clothes – I took two full day’s worth of clothes extra. that way felt covered for accidents or very different weather or even a fussy toddler
- Blanket- Cosy cover if really cold or asleep in pushchair
- Pushchair- there is too much walking for them. Must have a pushchair. You can hire them but definitely think about this
- Backpack with colouring pens and toys for plane
- Sun cream – hopefully sunny days
- Surprise toys for when bored – I kept small cheap toys for when April got bored and pulled them out . Got us some time and worth doing. Queues can be long so distraction works great
- Shoes – at least two pairs so they are different on feet and not rub with all the walking
- Change of clothes for mummy bag – another good idea in case accidents or maybe get cold.
- Hoodie and light rain jacket – I felt this was enough to either double up or make lighter. Plus if really cold you have a blanket too
- Facecloth – never seem to get a facecloth at hotels and worth taking for those cute messy faces.
- Plasters for bobos
- Hair bobbles and clips
- A new toothbrush and toothpaste
I think that’s it. Oh wait ……. Have Fun Fun Fun
When I grew up we loved going to the fair or the shows as we would call it. So much fun and always felt massive.
Now I am taking my own little girl to the same one that visits every summer. In fact I think some are the same rides I went on HAHA
You can never be sad at the fair. Just look at how happy April is. Have you seen a bigger smile.
On another note. How expensive is it ?! I am lucky I only need to pay for one child. If you had 4/5 children that’s an expensive day out. However it’s something you have to do as a child . Always fun. Xx